PROOF OF HEAVEN: TWO STORIES

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In 1964 my wife had a near death experience following a tubal pregnancy that ruptured. She had coded upon arrival to the emergency room. After her recovery, she reported that during the time the medical team was working on reviving her, she experienced being in Heaven, and being held in the arms of God. It was clear to her that she had a choice between staying in a comforting embrace surrounded by light and loving warmth, or returning to her previous life. Her choice was to return. This is the first story of Heaven.

As a doctoral student in psychology, I remember being uncomfortable when my wife would talk about her experience with my associates. They would immediately offer explanations for her experience which were biologically based on brain processes or chemistry. They were dismissive of her mystical experience, considering it to be some sort of psychological issue. This is a version of the second story.

There is a universal truth about such conflicting stories. Neither can be proven. What counts for scientific proof is actually a belief system, just as a personal mystical experience understood through a religious faith, is a belief system. The choice is left to the observer, to determine which system will be used to understand.

My wife spoke less and less about this event as the years passed. She often remarked that people seemed either politely skeptical, or uncomfortable when hearing her story.

Over the years, there have been increasing accounts of personal mystical journeys to Heaven published in books and articles. I know of at least five books which document such journeys made by ordinary persons or even a child. There are remarkable similarities in all of these accounts.

One of the most recent of these books directly addresses the scientific conclusion that brain processes and chemistry account for the reported experiences of being in Heaven during a near death experience. The book was written by a neurosurgeon, Eban Alexander, MD, who has his medical degree from Harvard University. In his book “Proof of Heaven” he documents that his brain cortex was not functional for at least one week, due to a medical emergency. An infection had entered his brain and was destroying it. The sensors monitoring brain activity flat lined during his coma. There was therefore no biological basis for his experience of being with God, yet that was what he reported when he recovered. One can imagine that his scientifically minded colleagues would certainly be skeptical and dismissive.

This clash of two stories was explored in the wonderful novel “Life of Pi.” The author proposed that the reader will “find God” through this story. For those who have not had the opportunity to read the novel, or did not see the motion picture, the story is told of a teenager from Delhi, named Pi. The main story begins aboard a ship destined for Canada with Pi, his family, and the animals from their family zoo. The ship is disabled and sunk during a violent storm at sea, leaving Pi with four of the animals aboard a life boat as the only survivors. The predatory animal attacks the other two and is in turn killed by the Bengal Tiger. Pi is left alone in a small raft with a tiger for over 200 days of drifting at sea. He miraculously survives and is washed ashore along with the tiger, who then disappears into the jungle and is never seen again.

When the representatives from the shipping company come to interview Pi, he initially tells them the story of his survival with the tiger. The representatives are immediately skeptical. No one could survive such an ordeal, they say. They ask Pi to tell them an alternative story which is more believable. A story they can present to their home office and to the insurance adjusters.

Pi then tells a second story of three people, not animals, on the life boat who succumbed to starvation; injury sustained during the sinking of the ship; violence; and the threat of cannibalism. The reader is left to conclude that the tiger was actually a manifestation of Pi’s aggression and will to survive.

Pi then asks the representatives which story they believe. Neither can be proven. That is also the essence of the truth about near death experiences.

Two stories about Heaven will continue to be told. One is told by people who describe light, warmth, bliss, heavenly beings, or loved ones who have died. The other is told by skeptics and scientifically oriented persons who continue to look for more logical and physically based reasons for reported mystical experiences of heaven. Which story is true? It is up to the audience to choose.

These two stories of proof of heaven are still being told. Recent scientific research demonstrates that laboratory animals, when euthanized, exhibit a spike of brain activity as the point of death. The scientists conclude that this parallels human experiences of near death, and therefore is proof of brain chemistry as the basis of mystical experiences.

But those who hear this story with a religious faith system, come to a different conclusion. They suggest that scientists may have discovered that animals must be able to experience God too.

AT THE BRAIN GYM

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Exercise keeps your brain young. That’s what the experts are telling us.

Adding brain exercise to physical exercise in how highly recommended. With a more nimble, oxygenated brain, the chances of developing memory loss, and other age related difficulties, are lessened. However, what is a fitness exercise for the brain? Used loosely, the term might include everything we do during waking hours. Perhaps the analogy of physical exercise helps. While walking is helpful, running leads to higher levels of fitness. In the same way, ordinary life experiences are helpful, but some exercises target cognitive processes directly.

I had the following experience in exploring this subject. I, for instance, enjoy solving one Sudoku puzzle a day, but that is not enough to count as a brain fitness exercise program. I inquired about what might be available to add to what I already do. What should be included in brain fitness exercises? Who develops these programs? Are they based on research? Where would I find them? I wasn’t aware of anyone I could ask. I hadn’t seen any brain gyms around.

Well, I discovered that brain gyms do exist, on-line. These are mainly commercial web sites that charge membership fees. I looked into: lumosity; brainTivity;, and MindSparke.

The testimonials are interesting for lumosity. Most of the users appear to be in their 20s and 30s. They say they have benefitted from the focus on attention; memory; speed; problem solving; and flexibility. I was surprized to see among the testimonials, a picture of one woman who was sitting with two large Bengal tigers inside their cage. She stated that she “liked a challenge.” Perhaps the developers of the program should add “common sense” to the categories in their program.

BrainTivity offers prizes for winning competitions in memory and attention. They say you can “get a full brain workout in only minutes.” If I am running late, can I get half a brain done in less time?

MindSparke states that they can help with your career, or test prep through “unparalleled training for your hippocampus.” Their program is “like a boot camp for the brain.”

I did find one on-line brain gym that targeted my age group: brain.AARP.org. I liked the fact that they offered a free trial. So I signed on to sample exercises designed to: focus on attention; increase brain speed; improve memory; enhance people skills; and sharpen intelligence.

In general, the programs I found do seem viable, well designed, and based on research protocols. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to join a brain gym. I already practice one frustrating eye-hand coordination exercise called golf.

Though it may not seem likely, a recent report suggested that playing ordinary video games might fend off degenerative brain processes. My grandkids tell me I have to get some game apps for my phone. Frankly, I find myself thinking about getting rid of the flock of seagulls who gather on my boat this time of the year, rather than angry birds on my phone. Candy Crush Saga? What kind of game can that be?

There are free collections of brain puzzles on-line to practice reasoning and logic. You will find them on “Addicting Games.com.” Some of these are fun. Some are frustrating. Some are impossible!

After reviewing everything I had explored, I knew there was only one course of action. The benefit of exercise comes from regular and consistant practice, and having someone else with whom you can share the experience. So I’m heading for the AARP brain gym, rather than trying to put a program together myself.

Now if I can just talk some of my friends into joining…..without implying that their brains are getting…..uhmmm……fat.

LEGACY

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A legacy is traditionally defined as a gift, or an inheritance of money or property. The term dates from the 15th Century in England during the era when citizens began to accumulate property or wealth, which could be passed down to the next generation. The term has evolved to include other gifts as well. I received a different kind of legacy just the other day.

I had spent the morning of a very hot day, doing yard work. My soaked shirt proclaimed that the humidity was really high. I was covered with speckles of dirt and grass clippings, and my torn work shorts were smudged by work gloves. I suspect those who know me from my professional settings would not have recognized me that day.

I think it was around noon, when I took a break, to run an errand to a local convenience store. While there I remembered that I also wanted to fill the tires of my car, since they looked a bit too soft. This was my beach car, with age and mileage showing. (Just like me, I suppose).

Having left in a rush, I neglected to take any change with me, and of course, the tire pump outside the store only took quarters. This is one the the unforeseen consequences of living in the modern era where credit cards can be used most everywhere. So I looked in the glove compartment, where I was able to find a small collection of pennies, nickels and dimes.

I went back into the store and was counting pennies and placing them in stacks of five, when a 30-something came to the counter to pay for a coffee he had just gotten. He looked at me and asked “What’s all that?” pointing to the stacks of pennies in front of me. I said “Oh, I’m just counting pennies because I need quarters…” He finished my sentence, “…for the air compressor outside!” I said “Yes”.

When he finished paying for his coffee, he gave the lady behind the counter a dollar bill with the instructions, as he nodded toward me, “Give him the quarters.” And he turned and started to walk out of the store.

I was stunned. I managed to say something like “Oh you don’t have to do that.”

But he just waved and told me to have a good day. I managed to blurt out “Thanks.” And he was gone.

Several thoughts raced through my mind. He must think I need the money. Or maybe it was just a generous, kindly thing to do.

I couldn’t decide how to feel about this extraordinary simple event. It was only later that I began to entertain the idea that this could be thought of as a legacy, of the most important kind. It really didn’t matter what he thought about me, or my situation. What mattered was that he took the action that he did. I certainly remember this event, and will for a long time. I have enjoyed looking for opportunities to pass this lagacy along.

Now this is certainly not like the legacy one sees on a program such as the Antique Roadshow. Heirlooms, passed down through generations are appraised and given staggering estimates of worth if sold at auction.

I am not sure those gifts are really important anyway, in the grand scheme of things. There aren’t many who can pass down valuable objects to future generations. And I wonder, if you receive one of these gifts, what do you do with it? Store it in a vault? I suppose it can bring a sense of connectedness to those who have gove before. But how could you possibly ever sell it? It really doesn’t belong to you. You are only the caretaker for future generations. And how do you decide which child will inherit it?

I, on the other hand, had received the legacy of a simple act of kindness. And I knew immediately what to do. I would pass it along as soon, and as often, as I could. Not that is a real gift.

The most important legacy can never be a thing. It is found in the personhood of the one who bestows the gift. Recently the comedian, Stephen Colbert, have a moving on-air tribute to his mother following her recent passing. He pointed to the values which she held and expressed, not to any thing which she had left. He appreciated and remembered her faith, gratitude, focus on family, and fun.

I suspect this is always the case. I too remember the values, traits, and acts of kindness that my parents exhibited. I value the legacy of their wisdom, and the character that showed during adversity. Those are the most precious gifts. I can only hope that the legacy I leave as a husband, parent, friend, and citizen of the world, will continue the gifts which were given to me.

ON THE BEACH

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The front yard of the town I live in, is the beach. It is a fragile string of low lying dunes which struggle to hold back the surges of the north Atlantic during the winter storms. Then in the spring, the beach becomes host to migrating birds, residents, and out of towners, who drive their vehicles to a favorite spot to spend the day. Children squeal with delight, parents collapse into lounge chairs, gulls stalk scraps from picnics, as the tide encroaches or flees. The sun makes its joourney to the horizon, and “..purple velvet fingers mark the end of day.”

This almost mystical place, where land, sea and air meet, must be connected to our very distant past, when small groups of hominoids likely settled near resources for food and water. Passed down memory over thousands of years, or perhaps genetic coding, serves to make this special place feel comfortable and inviting. In our wooded town, as in much of New England, it is probably one of the few places to experience the vista of an unobstructed view of a distant horizon, which always creates moments of reflection in me.

We visit regularly with a group of close friends, usually around a bonfire, to share experiences, memories, and reflections. The wives, over the years, have been the most comfortable in bringing up the ebbs and flows or our lives. Lately though, the guys have participated more as the topic of aging has become a focus of concern. We have all begun to experience what “old” might mean.

We are all “retired”, though a couple of the group members continue to keep up with the demands of work schedules, or business management. The term “on the beach” is actually an old Royal Navy term meaning “retired from the Service.” So we gather, retirees from ordinary work and family service, on the beach of our town, to continue to connect with those we care about, those whose children grew up with ours, and those who share this era of life with its peculiar ups and downs.

This setting of the beach has long attracted poets, artists, and writers, who use it as the backdrop for their explorations into the human condition.

T.S. Elliot, for example, in his famous poem, “The Hollow Men”, describes a moribund scene of the beach as a final meeting place: “…in this last of meeting places//we grope together//and avoid speech//gathered on this beach…//this is the way the world ends//not with a bang, but a whimper.”

Unlike Eliot’s dark vision, we are a lively crew, comparing notes on this or that political issue, or biological happenstance, or trip planned to some distant place, or issue with kids and grandkids. We have not gathered to grope in silence. No whimper here either.

Laughter and spirited conversation abound. Voices rise, as those across the bonfire ask for comments or information to be repeated. We acknowledge we all need to check out our hearing—but maybe not just yet.

Nevil Shute, probably having been influenced by Eliot, chose “On The Beach” as the title of his existential novel. This work, published in 1957, describes the ending of human existence following a nuclear war. In keeping with the existential stance, the characters in the novel exhibit various choices as ways of coping with their inevitable demise, as the radioactive fallout spreads to the remaining outposts of life in the southern hemisphere.

In the novel, some of the main characters, who are in the military, seem to cling to the las vestiges of hope for survival. They set out to look for other possible survivors, or regions not contaminated by radiation. Their hopes are dashed when they find that an intermittent Morse code they have received from the American west coast is the result of a shutter in the wind. Others abandon caution and sensibility, and start participating in high risk activities, rather than passively await their demise. Yet others, in some form of denial, continue their daily routines of mundane activities such as planting and tending their gardens, opting to use the pills provided by the government when they become ill. Shute gather a bleak bouquet of possible responses to an inevitable outcome.

Our group, on our beach, agains seems very different from the vision created in the novel. Fortunately, there is no spreading cloud of radioactive fallout approaching. But we are well aware of inevitabilities. We know time is limited. The aging process has already taken some of its toll from all of us. Yes, there are shades of denial, and bucket list adventures, and submersions into the mundane in all of us. But our shared choice in response to the tides which will sweep away all our sand castles, has been evolving over the years of being together.

We choose to enjoy our weekly outing on the beach as testament to our common journey. We gether to celebrate. It is our “Life Is Good” party.

We choose to adopt the stance that the joy of life, and the response to inevitabilities, is not found in a final destination. Rather, it is a manner of traveling together. And that is what makes all the difference–as we gather– on the beach.

 

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

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Wintering in Florida, with its large population of seniors, leads one to contemplate Donne’s poem. Despite his suggestion to “ask not for whom the bell tolls”, each January, those who are returning to the same location where we stay, check in with one another. Inevitably the topic turns to determining who will not be there. It is our own version of the popular course taught by Shelly Kagan at Yale. In his course, and in his book titled starkly, “Death”, he explores several of the many perspectives which are proposed by religious faiths and secular culture.

Though there is no lengthy theological and philosophical discussion among our friends, there is the sharing of perspectives which each one holds, and a common recognition that time must be spent wisely and thankfully, for the bell “tolls for thee”.

Kagan identifies a number of perspectives on the topic of death which are alternatives to the traditional religious teachings of Christianity and the other monotheistic religions. I can understand how this exploration might stretch and challenge students into identifying and owning their own belief systems. However, I imagine this as an intellectual exercise rather than a face to face coming to terms with one’s own mortality. It becomes a personal, not intellectual, encounter as one ages. What follows is a brief review of some of the alternatives identified by Kagan.

1. Buddhism: the only thing permanent is change, therefore we must strive to exist only in the current moment.

According to tradition, the Buddha’s enlightenment included coming to understand that death was simply a part of the reality that all things change. Acceptance of that reality can release one from the struggle to cling to anything, including oneself. Our “self” or identity, so prized in western culture, in fact is an illusion of permanence. Since the self does not really exist as a permanent thing, it cannot die. What “dies” is the constructed self. It simply dissolves, as does everything else. In the words of Thich Nat Hahn: “There is no birth, there is no death, there is no coming, there is no going… there is no permanent self, there is no annihilation. We only think there is.” In this view it is as though death is an illusion of ordinary consciousness. We fool ourselves into thinking otherwise.

Though I can intellectually understand this perspective, I do not personally find it a comforting one, except from time to time in brief moments of epiphany.

2. Existentialism: The Need to Construct Meaning

This position is the direct opposite of Buddhism. Rather than death being viewed as an illusion, it is the awareness of the inevitability of death which enables each individual to create their own meaning of life. (That, in fact, was what happened to the Buddha). The existentialists whould agree with the Buddhist tradition that life has no intrinsic meaning. But they maintain that we thus have the burden of creating meaning out of our experiences. This is an inevitable process which leads some to despair and others to a religious belief system in which meaning is given.

3. Death and Reincarnation. Death is simply a part of the cycles of rebirth.

In Hindu philosophy, as well as Buddhism, reincarnation is understood as a fundamental part of existence. Reincarnation is not a continuation of the personal self, and only in rare circumstances can one have memory of a previous life. Rather, it is the mechanism by which the “soul” purges itself of past wrongs until purified, and therefore it no longer returns to the physical world. One’s current life is determined by one’s previous lives. Though we cannot understand the overall “plan”, there is one unfolding. In the words of the manager of the “Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” ( a movie which has its setting in India) “everything works out perfectly in the end, so if things are not working out currently,… it is not the end…”. 

There are other perspectives as well, of course: death as deliverance from intractable pain and therefore not to be feared but welcomed as respite; those who experienced near death and report profound experiences; those who “rage against the coming of the night” as Dylan Thomas instructed; and so on.

My own conclusions, from having explored the realms of theology, philosophy and integral psychology, and worked with many individuals who were searching for answers to life and death mysteries, are fairly simple.

When it comes down to it–

Live long enough and well enough;

Love and be loved, long enough and well enough;

to be able to say at the inevitable end:

Whatever happens next, this has been good, and it is enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

O BRAVE NEW WORLD

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What does one tell the grandkids in a world like this?

I grew up a poor kid in a rich person’s town. It tends to either make one discouraged, or scrappy and resolute. I took that second path.

It was clear then. The enemy was poverty and circumstance.

The battle plan was also clear. Poverty and circumstance are overcome by working hard, and pursuing a good education. That was the understanding of the founding generations of America. That was also the understanding of my parents.

Now as a grandparent, I’m not so certain what lessions to teach my grandkids. At lease they are not growing up in Huxley’s Brave New World. He gloomily predicted the future would be characterized by diminished individualism; government domination of everything; bioengineering of higher and lower classes in order to faciliate and perpetuate a “working class of laborers; and mass use of the drum “soma” to keep the citizens from revolution. (Or are they?)

I understood that it might take generations to overcome our family financial circumstance. I was prepared to be the stepping stone for myt children. My immigrant father had done that. He worked at a labor insensive job his entire life, until it literally broke his heart. He had tenacity and loyalty and perseverance. Those were the qualities he told me I needed as well.

Now I read articles that college education is highly overpriced and highly overrated. My chosen fields of education and human services, like many others, are under increasing pressures. There is a great deal of uncertainty in most career paths.

So what does one tell the grandkids-about how the world works today; about how to succeed and overcome the inevitable difficulties which life brings; about how to create a career that enables them to accomplish their life dreams?

I do think I need to tell them that there are lasting truths. It is fundamental to work hard. It is important to get a good education. But there are other lessons to be learned.

Kids growing up today need something in addition to traditional values. They need a framework of thinking-an attitude- a stance.

Think like an entrepreneur. Work smarrt, not just harder. Get the education which will enable you to have the information and skill sets to benefit your personal goals.

You have to have tenacity, but you also have to be nimble and flexible. Some have referred to this a being in beta mode. This means always in the process of retooling, shaping, adapting to changing circumstances.

Yes, you have to have loyalty, but you also have to look out for your own best interests.

You have to work on evolving your overall consciousness through travel and experience, so that you are not a prisoner to your current circumstances. The journey gives you perspectives which you cannot get from just one place.

If you can, from time to time, remember to just enjoy the ride. What an extraordinary thing to be alive and aware during these times.

Then perhaps Miranda’s ironic lament in Shakeare’s “Tempest” can be turned into a celebration of hope for the next generation: “O brave new world, that has such people in it.”

THE ENDBEGINNING

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It is the endbeginning.

That moment marking the transition between worlds.

On one side a kaleidoscope of memories.

On the other–dreams yet to be.

I am the same on both sides, I tell myself.

But I am not.

On the one side I am what I was.

On the other, I am yet to be.

Having been, and becoming–the endbeginning.

Each moment is that moment, unseen in the rush of events.

Seamless transitions divided only by the conscious self’s need to create eras of time.

Each moment an endbeginning.

This moment is my deathmoment and this is my birthmoment.

How wonderful to be in this moment–

Having been, being, yet to be.

 

FINDING GOD

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Thoughts on the “Life of Pi”

The author announces in the early pages of the novel, through one of his characters, that those who hear his story would “find God.” It is quite a promise. My interest was peaked.

I initially wondered if the story was to be understood as metaphor. Were there hidden meanings to decipher? Was this the path to knowing God? Or perhaps the story would be so compelling that the reader could only come to one conclusion about the reality of the divine.

Patel’s novel, I discovered, is more about the importance of understanding the nature of narrative and truth. There are some interesting connections made by the author, but no secrets or code. Reality and truth about God, are ultimately manifestations of the eye of the seeker of God.

The author begins with an exploration of three narratives or truths about God in the Indian culture in which Pi is raised: Hindu, Muslim, and Christian. Pi explores and ultimately accepts all three as he grows from a child to a teenager. This is made possible through Pi’s upbringing in the Hindu tradition. Hinduism was, and is able, to absorb each new religion, each new narrative of God, as yet another manifestation of the ultimate Divine. That accounts for the hundreds of thousands of “gods” in Hinduism. “If something is really important, there must be many of them,” is the tradition. The monotheistic narratives, by contrast seem to follow a different adage: “If something is really important, there can be only one of them.” Monotheism promotes the assumption that there is only one true narrative, while Hinduism accepts that there are many paths to understanding the divine.

The novelist also includes a fourth narrative: western science. So Pi is immersed in this spring of truths or narratives about the nature of reality and the nature of God.

I will leave the story in the novel alone, and assume that anyone reading this will already be familiar with it. The main part of the story occurs in the lifeboat following the sinking of the ship on which Pi, his family, and the animals from the family zoo are traveling.

Pi must watch helplessly as the animals interact according to their nature. The hyena attacks the zebra. The orangutan attempts to defend the zebra and herself, but they are both overcome by the more powerful animal. Finally, the tiger,named Richard Parker, who has been hidden, emerges and kills the hyena. Pi is left alone, adrift in a small lifeboat, with a full grown tiger.

Miraculous events unfold that allow the tiger and Pi to survive their ordeal. Flying fish sail into the boat, much to the delight of both. Pi overcomes his vegan tradition and is able to catch a large fish for both of them to eat. Intermittant rain showers enable them to have water.

A tense truce is maintained between Pi and Richard Parker. Pi discovers that he is able to maintain control of the situation and actually train Richard Parker to keep to certain parts of the vessel. In this way they both can survive.

By the time both Pi and Richard Parker wash up on the shores of Mexico, both are emaciated and near death. The tiger leaves Pi and disappears into the jungle without looking back. Pi weeps , we assume for the loss of his companion during his saga at sea, as he is rescued.

An inquiry is held to determine the cause of the shipwreck. Pi tells his initial story to the agents from the shipping company who want to know what happened to their company ship. The account of the animals and the tiger is impossible for the investigators to believe. Over two hundred days at sea, in an open lifeboat, with a Bengal tiger? They ask Pi to give them a story that is believable, so they can report to their superiors. It is not clear why Pi agrees.

Pi then tells his second story of the events. In this story human persons take the place of the animals in the life boat: the zebra is actually the sailor who was injured when jumping into the lifeboat; the orangutan was Pi’s mother; the hyena was the bellicose cook on the freighter. When the cook killed the injured sailor to use his body for food and bait for fishing, Pi’s mother protested. When the cook killed Pi’s mother, Pi killed the cook. We learn in this story that Pi was, in fact, the tiger.

Pi asks the shipping company representatives, which story they accept. The implication is that both stories can be real because neither story can be proven. It is up to the company representatives, as it is up to the reader, which story they prefer to believe.

There are mysteries which are unanswered in the novel. Why is the episode on the carnivoris island included? If Pi is the tiger, does this mean that he has to come to terms with his own nature through this struggle for survival? When he trains the tiger, does this mean he is taming his own animalistic nature? Why does he weep when the tiger leaves?

The ultimate focus of the novel seems to be on the paradoxical nature of reality. Therefore finding God has more to do with accepting or believing a narrative or story of God.

It is up to the reader to choose which story they prefer The initial promise that the reader will find God is not a given. Finding God is a choice of which story about God we will accept.